Sigh!
How do you review or purely write about something that made you fall asleep while watching it? Twice for that matter! I’m usually not a fan of marvel movies. I used to be. But the endless spin offs, phases, tv shows, all interconnecting and so on. Its feels too much like homework to keep up with all that. On the other hand, there are actually good movies being produced and filmed. More pro spending time with something that has either stood the test of time, like Buster Keaton, or is a genuine work of an artist, with a vision. This movie, and many other Marvel films just reek of corporate bile. But, the movie promised multiverses, and a friend told me it would explore dreams are windows into another reality, so I had to give it a try.
At the start we meet an alternative Dr Strange and a young girl we later find out is a cosmic unique entity, with the power to travel the ENDLESS multiverse. She can’t control this power, it just manifests when she’s in danger or under a lot of stress. Her name is America Chavez, and she is the living embodiment of Hugo Chavez’s biggest nightmare. Shes a Latina who speaks more English than Spanish, and she was also raised by two women from another dimension. Wish America all the best, hope Hugo rots and is forgotten soon.
Someone is sending monsters out to catch or to kill America Chavez. That’s how the alternative Dr Strange died. The monsters look great btw. They give off this Kaiju vibe with their animalistic tendencies and gargantuan size. Strange kills one of them, a Giant Eye, by harpooning it in that one eye and pulling the eye out. If you ask me that quite the dick move.
Eventually we figure out that Scarlett Witch is the one responsible for bringing doom and destructions throughout the multiverse. She had kids in some other movie or tv show. Now those kids are gone, for some reason. And she really wants to be with her imaginary kids. She should be wanting therapy. Scarlett Witch going full villain is the most gorgeous part of the movie. Sam Reimi, the director and horror movie icon really borrows from some of his friends. There is so much that reminds one of De Palma’s Carrie, just more friendly to epileptics. A few scenes also remind me of the girl from The Ring. She keeps wrecking hero after hero, universe after universe just to be with her kids.
Now, there is a very easy solution to this. If there are lets say infinite universes, where everything that could have happened did happen, there must be an universe where Scarlet Witch had kids, but also died. The obvious solution to the problem would be to have America Chavez send the Scarlet Witch to that universe where the kids have just lost their mother, and let her raise them. But that would mean a happy ending and no more Scarlet Witch in the movies, so they couldn’t do that. Sadly.
The rest of the movie is just juggling McGuffins and boring fights that make the Planet Namek saga fights seem like one of the most innovative and exciting battle sequences in the history of moving images. And in the end what do we figure out? We find out that the screams of two scared boys are more important than killing thousands. I wonder if they will address the giant killing spree the wicked witch of the Scarlet committed in any of the next movies or tv shows? Probably not. An introspective journey would be interesting, but Marvel doesn’t like interesting, just dumb excitement of its recycled products.
What To Consume 